The Lake

I grew up on a lake.  My parents house, and then houses after they got divorced, were both on this lake, as well as the houses of my closest childhood friends.  It, to this day, is my “happy place” and where I feel most at home.  It’s a small lake with a maximum depth of 30ish feet, no power boats allowed, and on a clear day if you’re feeling up for it, you can swim from one side to the other in less than an hour.  

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My friends and I would spend hours at the lake.  The lake was where I learned to swim, where I’d go when I was feeling upset, where my besties and I would sneak out to past curfew and hope to not get caught by a parent or neighbor.  My husband and I took our engagement photos at the lake. And now as a parent, there is no greater joy for me than taking my three kids swimming in the lake, their entire bodies electric with delight as they splash around in the warm, placid water.

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For me, this lake represents freedom.  Quite literally, I was free to basically do whatever I wanted here growing up (we can debate these parenting techniques at a later time).  As a kid in the 90’s, we didn’t have cell phones or airtags.  We would call each other's house phones, coordinate who was bringing the chips (and beer when we got older), and ride our bikes down the dirt road to spend 1,3, 8 hours on the lake. Our parents trusted us - they would sometimes stop by and hang out for a while - but they largely let us be independent at the lake and discover whatever it was that we wanted, and needed, to discover.  

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More metaphorically, the lake represents an action that I associate with freedom - choice.  There are many ways I’ve chosen to be at the lake over the years: with friends, throwing a party, alone with a good book, sad on a bench after a breakup, enjoying nature, contemplative about a career decision, playing and creating in the sand, being still and reflective.  Being able to choose how I want to experience something and how I spend my time is perhaps one of the most important, if not most important, things in my life.  The lake has always been a place of choice for me, and I think because of that, something I deeply associate with freedom and happiness.  

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I feel grateful that as an adult, I have built a life where even though I am bound by the constraints of small children and naps, the freedom to choose how I spend my time, and who I spend it with, is largely within my control.  There is privilege that comes with being able to make these choices, yes. There is also an appreciation and recognition of the choices that I have made and the thoughts I’ve chosen to embrace to lead me to this place.

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This summer we will spend a week at home on the lake.  I am challenging myself to lean into the value of freedom and choice for my kids, and myself, that I experienced growing up here.  To put aside my grown-up fears and anxieties for a moment and choose to be still and present.  I hope to spend many more days enjoying the freedom and choice of lake life with my family, my friends, my kids and myself by my side.